Uncle!

It first happened years ago 

On a fairly routine day

There was no hostility

Nothing was out of the ordinary

But then, the unthinkable

Some stranger called me ‘uncle’

He wasn’t joking

Or being one up

And the guy wasn’t a kid 

I stopped short and my eyes narrowed, but that’s about all I did

There I was thinking I was cool, even hot

Until this chap gave me another thought

It was like a punch in the gut

Some of which hung over my belt

So I sucked it in quickly

I was impressing myself in my own fantasy

But I couldn’t do much about my hair or its lack

Will power wouldn’t grow some or make it black

I had to accept the truth

Not the kind sages seek

About the meaning of life

Or the reason for evil and strife

But I felt the world’s suffering

When I realised I was aging

Not that I’m old

But I’m no spring chicken either

Anyway, age is relative 

What matters is how I live

Truth is there isn’t much stuff to strut 

I’ve got to move my butt

Doesn’t always get me somewhere

Often I’m just spinning my wheels

But hey as the song goes, I’ll be 18 till I die

About my age, I’ll believe my lie

As you’ve probably gathered, I’m pretty damn vain 

And being called uncle is a bit of a pain.