I’m sure you know
I like my chow
Alright, I’ll shake your hand
Though it’s such a bore
Now please open the jar and give me more
To eat I don’t make a kill
Only because it’s your will
Yeah, it didn’t taste great
But it was I who stalked and subdued the slipper
You tried stealing it from me and I got your finger
I don’t like it when you raise your voice
After all, did I have a choice?
I had to relieve myself!
You’re fine with my peeing on a flower or tree
And you’re fussing because I went on the pots in the balcony?
One minute you’re freaking out
And the next, patting me and making cutie-pie sounds
I’m probably the only sane one in the house
Unlike you squabbling folks, I maintain my equanimity
Now as it relaxes us both, you may scratch my tummy
Yeah, I know you like my cold nose and soft fur
But why is it always me that has to come over?
And don’t insult my intelligence please
Don’t say biscuit, when you aren’t holding any
Aren’t you concerned about your integrity?
OK, I’m not the alpha dog
And to me you are a God
So answer my prayers, give me too some cake!
I’ve been here ever since I can remember
Doesn’t that make me a family member?